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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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First stop, the bus. I’m standin’ at the bus stop on the corner of Lanfine and Larkfield, and it’s like the universe is playin’ a joke. Bus is late. I’m checkin’ my watch, thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, I got places to be!” Finally, it rolls up, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a tin packed. I squeeze in, and some dude’s elbow is in my face. Great start, huh?

Linwood pupils planning for life after school through work experience programme